October is National Bullying Awareness Month!

Lets make 2012 the year that we all woke up from our slumber and got on the ball about this bullying issue!
What on earth do people think they are doing, adults, teens and children are all being bullied by people who in my honest opinion (from the movie The Water Boy)  need a "can of whoop ass" opened up on them! It makes me so mad to see people treated in such a manner.
Educate yourself and know the signs, know how to respond and how to help those who are bullied. If you are the victim, know that you need help and not to suffer in silence! You are a wonderful, worthy and  a much better person than your bully! God does not make junk!

Today, 160,000 kids stayed home from school. Not because they were sick or forgot to do their homework, but because they were afraid of being harassed by a bully. One in every four kids get bullied, which adds up to 13 million kids a year.

October 1st marks the beginning of Bullying Prevention Awareness Month .  Each year millions of children and youth experience the humiliation and devastating effects of bullying.  Bullying damages the physical, social, and emotional well-being of its victims. It also hurts the children who bully, as well as those who watch it happen. In fact, bullying creates a climate of fear, callousness, and disrespect for everyone involved.  SAMHSA is committed to reducing the impact of bullying and we will take this month to share information about bullying and its impact, and how everyone can and should play a part in taking action against bullying. (Credit to the SAMSHA blog for some of the info provided here)

Bullying 101 :

Bullying begins in the preschool years, peaks in early adolescence, and continues, but with less frequency, into the high school years. But bullying does NOT have to be a part of growing up.

Bullying is a form of emotional or physical abuse that has three defining characteristics:

1. Deliberate – the child that bullies’ intention is to hurt someone
2. Repeated—the child that bullies often targets the same victim again and again
3. Power Imbalanced—the child that bullies chooses victims he or she perceives as vulnerable

Bullying occurs in many different forms, with varying levels of severity. It may involve:

• Physical Bullying—poking, pushing, hitting, kicking, beating up
• Verbal Bullying—yelling, teasing, name-calling, insulting, threatening to harm
• Relational Bullying—ignoring, excluding, spreading rumors, telling lies, getting others to hurt someone

Know the Warning Signs 

A culture of silence often surrounds bullying. Many children who are bullied never tell anyone. 

Most bullying is not reported because children . . .

• Don’t recognize it as bullying
• Are embarrassed
• Don’t want to appear weak
• Believe they deserve it
• Want to belong
• Fear retaliation
• Don’t know how to talk about it
• Don’t have a trusted adult to confide in
• Think adults won’t understand
• Think nothing can be done about it

Just because you don't see it, and children don't talk about it, doesn't mean bullying isn't happening. Even when children fail to report bullying, they often show warning signs.

What are some warning signs of bullying?

• Unexplained damage or loss of clothing and other personal items
• Evidence of physical abuse, such as bruises and scratches
• Loss of friends; changes in friends
• Reluctance to participate in activities with peers
• Loss of interest in favorite activities
• Unusually sad, moody, anxious, lonely, or depressed
• Problems with eating, sleeping, bed-wetting
• Headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints
• Decline in school achievement
• Thoughts of suicide

Some children may withdraw, while others may get angry and seek revenge. Don’t assume the problem will go away on its own: Invite children to talk about what is bothering them. If you find out a child is being bullied, show support, help develop a response strategy, and follow up to make sure the bullying does not continue.

What You Can Do 

Recommendations and Strategies for Adults

If you don't intervene, bullies, victims, and bystanders will continue to believe in the power of bullying, rather than the power of prevention. They will continue to let bullying happen. So, why don't adults intervene more often? Sometimes, it’s because we don't see it happen; we’re not sure what to look for. But often, it’s because we don't know what to do or we're afraid that our actions will somehow make matters worse

When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Research shows this can stop bullying behavior over time. There are simple steps adults can take to stop bullying on the spot and keep kids safe.

Do:

• Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help.
• Separate the kids involved.
• Make sure everyone is safe.
• Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
• Stay calm. Reassure the kids involved, including bystanders.
• Model respectful behavior when you intervene.

Avoid these common mistakes:

• Don’t ignore it. Don’t think kids can work it out without adult help.
• Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.
• Don’t force other kids to say publicly what they saw.
• Don’t question the children involved in front of other kids.
• Don’t talk to the kids involved together, only separately.
• Don’t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot.

Get police help or medical attention immediately if:

• A weapon is involved.
• There are threats of serious physical injury.
• There are threats of hate-motivated violence, such as racism or homophobia.
• There is serious bodily harm.
• There is sexual abuse.
• Anyone is accused of an illegal act, such as robbery or extortion—using force to get money, property, or services.

What ever you do, Do something! don't just stand by in silence!!

Yum Yum Eat them up!!

Lateral Violence~~ victims unite!
Funny video with a deep message you need to know!

What is on the menu for today? nurses, new ones, young ones, old ones, fat ones, little ones, all colors, no discrimination here when it comes to lateral violence. Everyone is at risk to eaten alive and spat out like yesterdays trash.
Until I had been a nurse for many years did I ever know what the term lateral violence was, I just thought it meant slapping somebody sideways(laterally) or something stupid like that (yes I can be a ding bat at times), but I had been a victim of this incredibly uncalled for bull-crap for many years, so may instances I have lost count.  I can remember being that brand new nurse fresh out of school as an RN (even though I had already been in the medical field since I was age 15) and one of the first preceptors on the floor with me was just plain mean, had no patience with me and only worried about when her breaks were so she could go smoke. The comments I overheard her say about me in the hallway one day nearly crushed me, I just could not understand why she was so hateful and if she was that miserable in her career choice, get out.
Fast forward to several years later when I finally got to go back to the ER and work as a nurse, my dream job I thought. The first day was chaotic and confusing , we had a female who was shot in the head with a small caliber gun, she was awake and talking but needed to be transferred to another facility for trauma care. On my first day it was just funny to the other nurses to throw me into that room and say, "here is your first patient, welcome to the ER". Well that's just fine, if she is alive now, I am gonna kill her before she gets on that helicopter because I had no idea what I am doing. A--B--C--- thats all I kept repeating to myself.
In my element of adrenaline flowing freely I marched on and for another 20+ years kept the pace as an ER nurse. I have witnessed so many times over the countless backbiting, backstabbing, jealousy, gossip and formation of cliques that it somedays embarrassed me to be a nurse. I overheard several hurtful comments made by other supposed "team mates" that did not know I was in ears distance & I began to feel so low and my self esteem plummeted into a spiral of depression and unworth.
I had been a strong, smart, resourceful, compassionate nurse that because of lateral violence was now wanting to just walk out the door. I was physically ill because I did not want to go into work, not because of my patients or the work itself, but because of the people I had to work with. Now don't get me wrong, I did work with many very sweet caring and compassionate nurses, but I also had to listen to the gossip and nasty comments that other nurses said about them all the time. You never knew who you could talk to and if what you said would be twisted around and told back to someone else much differently. So I began to trust No-One! Many of the really good nurses either left or still endure the backstabbing because they know no different. They think these negative nurses are their friends, they are so wrong.
Sadly enough the management of my department did nothing to remedy any of the problems, they listened to only chosen nurses and totally ignored the most experienced and loyal nurses there. That was my cue to get out of dodge. I could tell that somebody was after me, maybe I was a threat, my 24 + years of loyalty to one institution apparently meant nothing. They let me just walk out that door with not so much as a goodbye, except from those who I still call friends.

Are the pastures greener on the other side??? Oh yeah they sure are!!
I myself found the greener pasture and made a run for it! sprinted across that pasture!  After almost 24 years working for one healthcare system, I made the jump to another one. A much better one.I have been so impressed with my new employer, they are wonderful. It was in nursing orientation that one of the instructors did a lecture on this thing called "lateral violence in the workplace" and how it would NOT be tolerated at all in our work setting. We are to report anything and can do it anonymously via our online reporting system. WOW
I am still working in an ER and loving my job everyday I go, my self esteem is back and I am back. The person I once was is back! I am a nurse and I am here to take care of humanity, comfort the sick, assist the dying to a better place, or save their butts. My co-workers now are fantastic, they are team players, take care and own up to patient care. We have all the latest technology and equipment. The system(CHS) actually cares about its nurses and its people in addition to the patients.
I am not here to gossip, wield a knife of sharp piercing stares or words, or let my fellow nurse down. I have many years of knowledge and I am to share that knowledge eagerly with other nurses and gladly accept knowledge and wisdom from them. I am never to old to learn new things and should relish the moments in time spent with others. I am to greet each day anew with a positive outlook and song in my heart. We are not promised another day, we should make the best out of the days we do have.

Thanks you for reading this, just something I had to write and pass on to others so that you can know even strong appearing women or men can hide pain inside. Don't be that person who caused the pain. Be the healer, be the nurse!
Nurse Up your fellow nurse not tear down!!!

Leslie~~~ 

Free Compliments for Nurses or anyone else

Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.
Swedish Proverb

From the fantastic Nursetopia blog I wanted to share this poster that I am taking to work with me in the morning. Going to pay back kindness and make my coworkers day!! We all need to feel appreciated and part of the team, even the guy who mops the floor is an integral part of our team.
Kindness spreads like fire, a simple smile can make the day of another nurse, doctor, family member who needs a lift.
Work is hard enough; share the love. You can download your own on the Nursetopia site and save to your computer to share with your boss and others on your team. Click the image to go there.

From the oh so even wonderful Kind over Matter blog

is even more "Kind over Matter" if you will say. 

I love this blog just as much, such positive vibes flow. 

The poster is another that you can place in your break room to  pass on

the kindness 

Click the image to go to the page and download

quoted from the KOM website, some grand stuff: 

Before I became a work-at-home mama I rocked a day job in health care. I was a nurse's aide in quite a few different settings. I worked all three shifts throughout the 7 years that I worked in the field. I worked in a handful of nursing homes, personal care homes, a rehabilitation center, an assisted living complex & then finally, in home health care. I really did love helping people but it was a SUPER stressful profession, both mentally & physically, especially when we were understaffed. What would make or break my day would be who was on with me that shift. At one point, during my first year of work, I worked with SUCH an amazing TEAM. Like, we got shit done, we didn't skimp, we all loved our residents to pieces & we worked TOGETHER to finish our tasks & raise the quality of our residents' lives. We went that extra mile to make each other smile too. It was truly a beautiful thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Another great reminder is Kate Swoboda's Love Letter to the World

 Kindness really is contagious, maybe you can get the bug to spread in your place of work by taking one of the steps below! It won't hurt, I promise!

Start Small. Most of the things I am about to mention will take you no more than 5 minutes or less to do. Say thank you, make coffee, tidy the break room, do the dishes, have a sense of humor, SMILE MORE, complain less, don't gossip, give praise freely. Be Kind, Be Kind, BE KIND. You probably spend an upwards of 2,000 or so hours with your co-workers a year. You should really try to make it a positive experience for yourself & those around you.

Bring Food. Bagels, chocolate, fruit, donuts, chocolate, cookies, cupcakes, a veggie tray... chocolate! It doesn't matter what it is. Bring it. Share it. Bake something & bring it in (Ice Cream Cone Cupcakes!?), a covered dish, anything will surely be a huge hit! You don't have to go all out either, stop at your local grocery store pick up some fresh or frozen bagels & a tub of cream cheese, a box of donuts, pick up some coffee on your way to work or better yet, offer to run out & pick up a coffee or food order.

Start a Gratitude Board. As I was scouring Flickr for photos to feature in this post I ran across the one above. Her company has a "Thank You Board" - whomever has the most notes each month wins Employee of the Month & is rewarded. Of course, whomever has been the employee of the month the most throughout the year becomes the employee of the year at the end of the year! Love this idea, so much.

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
William James

Show Your Appreciation. This harmonizes with the suggestion above because I feel that is extremely important & want to emphasize on it more. Maybe one of your co-workers showed you how to do something or to get more personal, shared with you a great book, song, poet or movie that you deeply enjoyed. Let them how much you appreciate them by saying Thank You, maybe you can return the favor. Show them how grateful you are by acknowledging them, you can pass along the goodness they shared with you to someone else. When you do, don't let the person that turned you on to or helped you with something out of the story. Not only is it one of the most important parts of the story but by doing so, the gift of appreciation will continue to be given to them & that my friends, is truly a beautiful thing.

No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others. The wise & confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.
Author Unknown
Share Yourself & Encourage Others to Do the Same. Open up, let yourself be seen. This will make you vulnerable but it will also be the only way you will connect on a deeper level. Hang photos of your loved ones, display mementos of your interests & passions (ummm, don't go overboard though!) If you have an office, keep your door open as much as possible. When folks arrive make them feel welcomed. (Did I mention chocolate?!) Share the important things in your life. Ask about the important things in your co-workers' lives. Sometimes all anyone needs is someone to talk to.

So, if you rock a day job... commit yourself to being Kind. It really does go a long way.

On another note: Important Please Read!

Nurses live and work in such stressful environments that sometimes we tend to turn on ourselves, forget who we are and hurt each other. Lateral violence or horizontal violence among nurses is on the rise and should not be tolerated. As a victim of this kind of violence I really was not aware of it until I stepped away and looked back.

If you are suffering at work, hate your job, never get any kindness, other nurses are treating you unfairly and/or your management is also treating you unfairly. You need help. You need to think seriously about your life, your job and your happiness. How can you take care of your patients when you are not happy yourself.

Think about that a while

Leslie